Let's Lie in The Garden and Watch The Weeds Grow.

i woke up this morning from a terrifying dream of eating ice cream and sour cream and for some odd reason, i thought it really happened. but i only noticed that it didn't when i saw the sour cream in the fridge and there was no strawberry ice cream in the freezer. i felt so relieved.

alex, alison, laura and i rode our bikes to avila beach and we found the most beautiful spot with white rocks and caves to explore. we played in the sand and water and i felt like a child. i feel like a child now. i just got out of a nice warm bath and after putting on my pajamas, i saw that we had some 'no more tangles' on our counter and i decided to use it.. cause i needed it anyway after a day at the ocean. the familiar smell was comforting and i can smell it now on my damp hair. i got a chance to sit in the sand and write too, i let the sun hit my back and for the first time in a long time, i smiled with the blue sky and i was happy for it to be daytime. we rode back after quite a while and stopped on the side of the road and at an apple orchard to take some photographs. it was beautiful there and i didn't want to leave. finally getting home, after a much waiting and parents making things stressful again, i made myself some white rose mint tea and took a bath.

bathtime:
submerged myself and listened to the beat of my heart, felt the warm water caress my skin and bubbles crawl up my face. i felt comfortable, but then forgot that if i wanted to stay alive, i had to breathe. which meant leaving that. survival is uncomfortable sometimes, but necessary. it seems to always get in the way of things